Big River 4/4/06
Thank you JATB and ElJefe for reminding me that the pages of the calendar are blowing in the wind. It has been, well, BIG around here, as selling a house is more stressful than I imagined. I thought buying a house had been my housing-induced emotional pinnacle, but nay nay. At least when I was buying it, I didn't have to be keeping it clean every moment. Nobody else was doing that either, but I bought it anyway, though I can't count on that to happen now. House-lookers can be odd. As a prospective buyer, I don't remember opening closets, fingering a dress and asking about the fabric. I would not have thought to go in and out of the house several times leaving the doors wide open every time. I probably wiped my feet (I think). Proof, perhaps, that I am in some ways a timid soul. And in the act of buying, I did not imagine the process of showing and selling.
My pets are handling it well. Bob the Cat hides under the bed (really, a fine idea, and why didn't I think of it?) and Shadow the Black Dog checks out the company and wags his tail democratically at all, but prefers not to be fondled too suddenly or aggressively.
Excuse me - could you help me to get up on this soapbox? Thank you. Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, please don't ever assume that all dogs love to have their faces smushed, their ears pulled, your face in their faces. Please don't assume that all dogs are accustomed to children, or that all dogs are delighted to see other dogs bounding toward them. For various reasons, some dogs object to having their space invaded (the face-in-the-face), or are uncertain around creatures that move and vocalize in unpredictable ways (like toddlers), or have serious issues with other dogs (as did the late Shekinah, who never saw a dog she would not have thought more attractive had it been groveling). All dogs have is the ceremony of body language, and the growl, and the teeth. If the dog you want to pet is accessorized with a person, always ask that person if you may before you lay hands on said dog. Most of the time the owner will look at you in wonder, for you are a truly civilized and thoughtful human being. They can say yes or no, depending on the dog, and nobody - not you, not the owner, not the dog - has to worry about a bite. It's just manners. Manners were invented to keep us from killing each other on sight, and therefore are still useful even today. There. I think I want to come down from the box now, may I have your hand? Thank you.
It has been lovely to live here in the Hudson River Valley, and I feel that I have at long last been released from the remaining effects of the car accident I had in 1978. All kinds of emotional bandages have been removed, and I feel like "me" again, more connected and better balanced than I have been for a couple of decades. There is something about the land here, and the great river, the succession of the seasons, and also something about this little house on its three acres. That magic, that "spirit of place", as Lawrence Durrell put it, is palpable and active. Generations of artists in all genres and seekers of all faiths and philosophies have come to this part of the world to learn something new about seeing, hearing, being.
I have lived in many places - two continents, six major cities, five small towns. By the time I unpacked my boxes here in the valley, I was so tired of the process that I threw the boxes away, because I KNEW I was never going to move again. As I think about all those moves now, I am a little surprised to realize how much of this nomadic life has been spent on or near the banks of the Hudson River, in the city at its mouth, in the Adirondacks at its source, and for the last five years, at its middle. I have thought of these as completely unrelated places, but actually they are all Hudson River places, stitched together by a great ribbon of water and time. Whenever someone asks me, "where are you from?" I take a moment to try to deduce what the REAL question is. Am I being asked where I was born (Holland, Michigan), or where I grew up (Connecticut, Paris, Brussels), where my family is (Chicago, Maine, Pennsylvania), or where I live now at the moment of the questioning. I have thought of myself as a woman without much in the way of roots, and have experienced non-specific homesickness for many years. Homesick for somewhere, but where? Where? Well, maybe I am not so unrooted. I am perhaps a Hudson River girl, moving up and downstream as needed.
I was downstream yesterday for a Gracie rehearsal. We are learning and writing new material and putting together our first show. The process of learning to sing together is tremendously exciting. Janis and I, of course, have lots of experience blending with and supporting each other, but working with Ann is new. The sound is beautiful, and the wit, crackling. Can't wait to be unleashing this. More news to come.
Till then, and sooner than this time I promise - a lovely spring day to you, Dear Readers, even though it is snowing here as I write. Silly old weather!
Blessings.